The Ask Reddit threads are truly a gift. Because forum users are cloaked in anonymity, they feel free to give some truly candid and eye opening responses to what some would deem some fairly taboo questions. For example, we’ve already took a front row seat to forum users sharing their most awkward and uncomfortable one night stand stories. Then there was the particularly illuminating thread where sex workers provided a diverse array of experiencesconcerning their first day on the job.
The latest installment is far more chaste, but no less intriguing in that it involves tales of when people were fired within 24 hours of showing up to a new job.
User PotatoLatkes shared a story of man who sounds like he was executing a relatively successful short con.
Not me…but happened when I was working at McDonalds. New guy came in and when he saw that we were trashing patties if they had been sitting too long, he ate one…then he started just eating them from the supply…dude must have inhaled 10-12 patties over a couple hours after repeatedly being told to stop. Eventually, he started making himself a burger with the buns and eating it as well. Got fired first day on the job.
I’m still convinced he had no real plans of working and just wanted to see how many free burgers he could eat before getting canned.
User NoxWild extended an act of kindness to a hospital patient and paid the price. Legitimately heartbreaking.
Janitor job at a hospital, cleaning bathrooms in the patients’ rooms. An old lady laying in her bed called me over and said she was born in Germany and she’d learned to speak English but couldn’t read it very well. She had a get-well card from someone and asked me to read the poem inside. I did. Someone reported me because I wasn’t supposed to “interact with patients.” Got fired before lunch.
We can all admit that user Betruul is living the dream, right? This is clearly the best case scenario for a day one dismissal.
Got hired. Day 1 after orientation, got desk set up, boss walked in and told us this branch was closing, dont come tomorow.
Got 2 months severance pay.
Apparently Betruul got another job weeks later and was able to shave 20 grand off of his student loan debt while collecting two incomes, so, way to be the best case scenario, dawg. Living. The. Dream.
User oograh’s story has a crazy O. Henry-style twist.
I kind of inadvertently got a guy fired on his first day.
I was working at a factory job. I had been there a couple years at this point. They had just hired a new batch of people.
One of the people they just hired (let’s call him Ed) I knew from school. He was a strange dude. He always had an off-putting smile on his face, like he just farted and is waiting for you to smell it. He also thought being “friendly” is punching your arm, which always was annoying to me. I think he wanted to be friends in school, but it just didn’t really happen. We were cordial when we met in public, though.
Anyway, Ed gets hired. He sees me and come over to talk for a bit. When he walks off my supervisor pulls me to the side and says “If that guy messes with you let me know”. Okay. Weird, right?
Later that day, he is being trained at a machine behind me. We were running different parts, and mine runs slower. He decides that means I suck or something. He walks up behind me, slaps the back of my head (hard enough my hat goes flying off) and yells “hurry up, slowpoke”. My job was working with torches, so needless to say that pissed me off. At lunch time I pulled the supervisor to the side and let him know what happened, and that it was dangerous since I am handling dangerous equipment. He tells me he will take care of it. I come back from lunch, and Ed is being escorted out of the building.
Come to find out Ed thought it would be cool to “brag” to my supervisor that he used to kick my ass in high school all the time. As far as I knew we were cool. I had no idea that he told them anything of the sort, because it didn’t fucking happen. So, when I complained, he was insta-fired. They were protecting me from my high school bully that I didn’t even know existed.
I would have really loved to have witnessed mankiller27’s first day. I’m sure I’m not the only one.
I got into a fist fight with the owner’s son. In my defense, he started it.
It sounds like deftss was the victim of poor communication, poor organization, or poor circumstance.
They called me and told me I was let go for not showing up on my first day. Which was a surprise for me since at no point after the interview had I been told that I’d been hired.
User what_the_puck had a short-lived stint as an impromptu delivery driver. The ending sounds pretty satisfying, though.
Worked at Pita Pit in college for a day. About halfway through my first shift, the manager asks if I have a car. I said yes, why? He said I had to go get it and deliver for him til close because the driver he was into called out because she was too hungover (She said this on speaker in front of like half of the people waiting in line and everyone else who was working). If I didn’t, he said I was fired. He also told me I had to pay for my own gas and give all tips to him since I was still making 8.20 an hour instead of the 4.50 the drivers made plus tips. He handed me seven bags and a list of mapquest directions to them, three of the deliveries 10+ miles away (Furthest being 17 miles in the middle of fucking nowhere Pennsylvania that just screamed DELIVERANCE RAPE SCENE).
Boss called me not even 15 minutes later screaming at me for not making all of the deliveries yet and said that once I came back and gave him his tips, I was fired. With five deliveries left to go, I said “Fuck it” and went to my friends place with the rest of the food.
Fuck that manager.
User jessesdaddy23 traumatized some kids. Can’t say we blame him.
I got this. When I was 17 I got a job at Chuck e cheese. I worked the front door and once an hour I had to put on the chucky costume and parade around the place. Here’s the deal with those. Kids are dicks. They kept constantly running up to me and hugging me and punching me in the crotch. After about five hours of this I’d had enough. I purposely didn’t attach the head to the body. It was supposed to button in to place. So after the 20th or so time being Nut checked I had enough. I backed up, did a stupid little dance. Grabbed my head piece and slowly began to twist it around my head. The kids started to freak. Some screamed, some cried. Parents started protesting. The older kids started laughing. The attendant who was with me fell out in laughter. I thought it was hilarious, however the restaurant manager who hired me didn’t think it was that funny. I got ushered out the back door and banned from that particular chuck e cheese. Do I think it was worth it? Hell yes I do
This post from stratospaly speaks for itself.
A guy showed up on his first day, went through orientation, then out for beers with his boss and a few others. His boss was talking about his 16 year old girl and the new guy straight face said “Is she hot?”… this was a 24+ year old dude. His first day was his last.
Honestly, it sounds like Harka should have known better.
Cleaned houses for old people, fired up one of their vacuum cleaners. It made a sound like a siren, so I jokingly yelled: “The Germans are coming!” (A common response for me).
I’m from a country previously occupied by Germans. The old people were old enough.